Marriage - a Great Mystery
It is the night before my daughter gets married to a wonderful young man. We are excited and grateful for this is a match truly made in heaven. God's plan is unfolding before me. I am wide-eyed with wonder about it all. But as I meditate on this, a greater picture comes to mind. I can't help but think that Jesus, who is blessing this & working in this, has in mind a greater marriage day yet to come. One day - one fine day - there will be a gathering of all the saints thru the ages. Jesus will gather us and we will be the bride of Christ. The sublime unity that God initiated in His Son when we were born again will be fulfilled in that day and we will forever be with the Lord in perfect harmony. This day is so great that it is beyond imagination. Should you doubt this, just listen to the Word of God, "Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man, the things that God has prepared for those who love Him."
But what is so mysterious about that? Hear this verse at the tail end of a description of the heavenly dynamic in God's design for marriage (Eph.5:32), "This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church." What was this great mystery? What was so astonishing that Paul said marriage was an EXACT PICTURE of Christ and the church?
The godly marriage perfectly depicts the relationship that should exist between the Lord & His church. We may never know the depth of truth that exists in this mystery until we gain that great & wonderful day in eternity. But we can know some things which will build our faith, our obedience, and give us a picture of the most important reason God ever created marriage - to bring glory to His Son and His Gospel plan. Here are the particulars as Ephesians 5 reveals them.
1. Wives are to submit to the leadership of their husbands as the church does to Christ. This is a most unpopular word today in this 'politically correct' environment. It is terribly misunderstood. We will explain shortly. But the description cannot be changed, softened, or ignored - not if we are going go glorify Jesus in our marriage. The attitude is to rank oneself under another - to willingly follow their lead - JUST LIKE THE CHURCH should follow the lead of the Lord Jesus. This sends the right message of dependance and trust instead of the message so many American Christians send of independance & a lack of trust in the One who died and rose for them.
2. Husbands are to love their wives as Jesus loves the church - same kind of love - same kind of values - same kind of sacrifice - same kind of protection. Nowhere does the Bible teach or honor tyranny or selfish control of a husband over his wife. Husbands are to lead by:
a. Serving - laying their life down for their mates (vs.25)
b. Sacrificing - paying any cost for her sake as Jesus paid the great cost for our sakes.
c. With a goal in mind - to see her reach full maturity in Christ (vs.26-27).
The idea is that husbands should spend themselves for their wives so that she can become all that God intended for her - the best Christian she can be. This is also the right motivation for the wife who respects her husband so much that she supports every effort to serve & please the Lord - fulfilling God's call & will for their lives. If both are committed to this end then all is well in the marriage and the great mystery God intended to portray begins to reveal itself in the lives of the married couple wherever they live. It is also self-evident that if sin, selfishness, & carnality prevail, then the commands made for mates in this scripture become twisted, perverted, warped, etc. When that happens, the picture of Christianity is completely lost and we end of with great tragedy - divorce & family disaster.
But notice that the mystery comment comes just after quoting Genesis 2:24. "A man leaves his father and mother, is joined to his wife, and the 2 become one flesh." This mystery, as I said, may never be fully unlocked this side of heaven for Paul does not take time here to explain it. But we do have a hint. We are leaving one relationship to enter into another even more important and lasting one. Marriage pictures a change that is to last a life time. It is radical. It is a picture of 2 distinct people giving up a significant measure of their individuality in order to live together in real and practical harmony. In fact, in God they are to become one flesh. This unity is to be so great that the their hearts and souls become one and the same. This joining is not AGAINST their will but is done according to their decision and commitment. Wonder of wonders! It is accomplished because God is watching & takes a hand in everything. It is simply not possible otherwise. Marriage should NOT be attempted without Jesus right in the middle of it. Sadly, marriage is attempted without the Lord and we have witnessed the tragic results with the pandemic of divorce and broken homes all through society. But when believers take the command of Christ seriously and relying on His enabling power, seek to fulfill God's will for their marriage, then the results which God intended begin to be realized and the ONENESS actually reveals itself.
So it is with the church - Christians. We leave all other relationships behind and are joined to the Lord. This unity is to be so profound that 2 truths shine out to anyone paying attention.
1. When Jesus prayed for our unity in John 17, HE used the number one to describe it rather than any other illustration. ONE - no moving parts - no attachments - no extra definitions - nothing added - no complications - just the simplest of all thoughts - so perfectly joined that what was once 2 is now (miraculously I might add) ONE! What a description! What a revelation to believers. This is the heart of God towards us, that the Almighty wants to be perfectly joined with me and I with Him!
2. To seal this truth and make it far more than just a legal agreement - more than a philosophic way of looking at things - more than an equation or a contractual commitment - HE sends the HOLY SPIRIT to live right inside a believer. This is not a nice religious doctrine but the VERY Presence of God within. It is also a mighty miracle.
So the mystery - at least the beginnings of it - is that all other relationships now pale in comparison to the one we have with our Lord when we are born again. This is why the Spirit filled life is not an option but the very promise of our faithful Savior who said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." This unity that exists in the perfected marriage is the best earthly picture of the GREAT MYSTERY of Jesus being unified and living in His children. This is our hope of glory - not just heaven one day - but as an old elder once said - "Thank You Jesus, for You gave me a heaven to go to heaven in." May the Lord work this in us in these days so that "we may comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which God passes knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
Then we shall become like Him. And may married Christians take seriously the exhortation of Ephesians 5, not allowing the nonsense of our day to rob us of the great picture that will inspire all who observe their marriage, to search for and experience the GREAT MYSTERY revealed in a Christian marriage - unity with Jesus - Immanuel = God with us!!! Be of good cheer my friends. He who began a good work in us will complete it. HE has the patience and the power to do it! If you are having trouble in your marriage, take courage Christian, live in such a way that you will do all you can to help your mate be the best Christian he/she can be. Wives respect and follow the lead of your husband, serving them with all our might, doing all you can to help them in their faith. Husbands love your wives and lay down your life for them, serving them, so that they may become all that God envisioned for them. Then you will be lining up with Eph.5 and fulfilling the will of God as LIGHTS in this world. May Jesus be praised!
