What Do You Want Your Kid to be When They Grow Up?

That's what they asked me when I was a kid.  My parents asked this, my grand parents, my neighbors, my teachers, my sister, even friends my age.  They asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  And I had BIG ideas.  I wanted to be a dentist at first.  What kid dreams of being a dentist?  O well.  Then I wanted to be a professional base ball player.  Next, a politician.  Then (when I was becoming an adult) a social worker because I wanted to help people (even though I was in no condition to help anybody at that age).  Then just a rich man.  Finally, a social studies teacher.  Whew - what a list.  I'm tired just trying to remember that managerie of ambitions.

Here is another question, directed at parents, "What do you want your children to be like when they are 25?"  OR  "What are your dreams for your children?"  OR  "What do you hope for them when you are raising them?"  It was once told me that if you don't aim at something you are probably living a wreckless & aimless life.  Patrents need to know what they are aiming at with their kids or they are likely to be practicing a very wreckless brand of parenting.  Now, no one can predict what their 4 year old's personality is going to be like.  And no one knows exactly what calling or gifting the Lord will place on their children.  So, some things are not possible to foresee or predict.  But, there are some character things that we must aim for when raising our children, or they will be part of the problem instead of part of the solution.  

There is a single verse packed with guidance as to what we are aiming for when it comes to Christian parents raising their kids.  In Eph.6:4 we read, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."  I want to notice a few things about this passage and then ask some further questions and finally, make a few suggestions for parents.  First notice "bring them up" = see to it that they get from 0 to adulthood safely & intact before the Lord.  The words indicate a consistent responsibility, so parents, roll up your sleeves, get in there, & take care of business with those kids until they are on their own so to speak (I know that they are never really on heir own but you know what I mean).  And, we should realize that we are not just getting them to adulthood but we should be appropriately preparing them for adulthood as CHRISTIANS!!!

"Do not provoke" = do not frustrate your children.  That is do not make them angry with mistreatment whether actively or passively.  We understand actively for that means do not be abusive & negligent in our treatment of these little treasures from God.  But passively, we can deeply fail them by setting the wrong goals, by being unfaithful to our mates, by ignoring them, by failing to inspire or afirm them, by insulting them or being badly impatient with them, etc.  The reason why the apostle tells us not to provoke is because we have a tendency to do that very thing.  Parents are warned not to wrongly anger their children.  That does not mean they shouldn't discipline them as we shall soon see.  And discipline can tick kids off for the moment.  This 'do not provoke' idea includes failing our kids in raising them for Jesus.  Parenting is the toughest job on earth, so get to it, get praying, get living for Christ, setting the best example possible.  Life will be tough enough already for our sons & daughters anyway.  How hard will it be for them if we fail to teach them the good and right way.

We are to disciple them (very unpopular today).  That is we are to make sure they do what they are told with consistency so that when they come to adulthood, they will have learned about authority & will respond to the Lord's call when HE reaches for them (if that has not already happened to them in younger years).  This article will not seek to outline what that discipline should look like but the Bible is quite instructive when it comes to this (check out Proverbs).  

We are also to instruct them.  This emphasizes the teaching aspects pf parenting which includes the proclaiming + the examples + the affirmation needed from our parents.  I am so proud of my children & I try to tell them & show them that often.  I don't know how good I am at that but I do know that it must be done.  Disicpline without loving instruction damages kids.  Get in there parents and tell them how to do it, show them how to do it, implant the values they need, the ones that God calls us to give them, and then, appreciate them when they follow through and do right.  Love them when they are wrong, discipline them when they are wrong, show them the good and right way, and reveal your love and admiration for them.

Bring them up "in the Lord".  That is, raise them the way God wants them raised.  The question is NOT, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  It is instead, "What does God want them to be when they grow up?"  Raise them for the Lord.

Now let me ask again, "What do you want your child to be like when they are 25?"  WE should want them to be full fledged Christians who:

1) Love the Bible & revere it as God's Word - the only rule of faith practice there is anywhere.  They should live & perceive life from God's point of view.

2) They should expect to be filled with the Holy Spirit, be men & women of prayer, and practice corporate & private worship of the Lord without shame or reservation.

3) They should know & discern the secret power of fellowship (serving God with others).  This secret power enables the Christian to obey & be fruitful as no other source.  We are members of the Body of Christ & 1Cor.12 proclaims that we NEED each other deeply.

4) They should realize that they are called to bring the Gospel to all they meet.  They should know the basics of the Gospel and be able to speak their testimony, disciple a new convert, and point to the Lord witout fear.  

5) Finally, our 25 year olds should value holiness of life.  Holiness is God's way of doing things.  Holiness towards the Lord & then towards one another should be paramount in their lives. 

Next question, what, as parents, are we doing to bring our kids to that destination?  The answer should be, anything God wants.  No price is too high, no distraction is worth it, no committment is too expensive, etc.  What will we say to the Lord when HE asks what we did with the children HE entrusted to us?  What answer would suffice?  It is hard enough to make it as a Christian in this world with a healthy family.  How much harder is it to come to Jesus and serve HIM if parents really drop the ball?

Here are my suggestions for parents.

1) Pray about this like crazy.  You will need every ounce of grace available so call out to the Lord in a plenteous manner.

2) Teach them the Bible at home and be the best example of a committed Christian you can be.  That means, you must also grow & advance in maturity in the faith.  As you grow, they will too.

3) Get them into reliable children's ministries @ the church of your choice (I am assuming it is a Gospel preaching church).  You will need all the help with this 'raising your kids' project you can get.  Quite frankly, I mean no injury or disrespect, but parents today seem to think that sporting events & clubs ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FILLING THEM WITH GOD & THE BIBLE - A BIG MISTAKE!  I am not saying that athletics is bad, it can be very good.  But when it takes precedent over the things of God, what are we doing?  We are teaching our kids that Christianity is 2nd rate & that searching for truth is not as important as fun.  That's a very bad idea.  Remember your goal - your dream for those kids that are 'on loan' from God!

4) Display you own excitment in finding God's Presence, seeking His will, being used of Him, helping others find & know the Lord.  In this way, they too will long for Christ and be powerful as they reach their early 20's.  Then they will love the Lord instead of loving this world & its lying glitter.  Then they will be able to sacrifice for what really matters.  They will be truly giving, loving, holy people.

Please take this to heart my friends.  We, at FF, are about to enter a new emphasis on our journey.  We have worked at passing the torch but we are going to 'turn up the heat'.  We are going to re-enter the battle for our future generations.  It is the greatest adventure on earth & it begins in EACH FAMILY!  Think of it, you could be raising a leader, an evangelist, a pastor, a missionary, a soul winner at their employment post (wherever), a 1st class mom of dad, a child worker or school teacher that imparts the very truth of the Gospel, a construction worker that leads all of his/her working peers to Christ, etc.  

This is the first of 3 articles on various aspects of this subject.  PLEASE PASS IT ON TO YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS!  I am likely to be preaching on this subject in our next series @ church.  We will need to do this as a team ministry, & I believe the entire church should be on this team.  One might say, what about the older people?  They can help by mentoring the younger ones.  Get 3 or 4 young adults or teens and adopt them.  Call them up, see how they are doing, pray for them, encourage them, teach them, implore them, keep at it.  That's our job quite frankly and the responsibility belongs to everyone!  Be of good cheer my friends.  When you work to pass on the faith that Jesus has placed inside, you are walking in the very heart intentions of God Almighty.  Jesus keep you strong in these days!